postmarked 'denial'

hmmmm. the letter to summer praetorius, impending childbirth, the hubs insisting his mother come to stay for a 'few months' after our new baby is born and our beginning couples therapy leaves me writing from a deep state of denial.

here are the things that are helping keep me there

1. a large stock of assorted magnums in my freezer ( delivered by the ocado man, natch)

2. painting. things not pictures as i have the artistic talent of a two year old. so far have painted the little thing's chair and a chest of drawers.


3. fiction, as ever. but denial makes you a more demanding reader i think and i have been disappointed by the last few novels i've read. here's hoping 'shalimar the clown' is a better deal.

4. my friends who will say all the right things and eat huge amounts of chocolate with me and laugh at my problems rather than expecting me to cry.

5. the thought of a new little thing coming into our lives. as for the unspeakable horrors of childbirth, at least this time in labour i will know that there IS an end to the agony. and i'm making the hubs practice his one line for the delivery suite, "she wants an epidural, NOW!".