the wrong side of slummy

this childless, husband free morning i had breakfast in bed (2 bowls, naturally), read the papers, let olga the fabulous cleaner into the house and then sped off to bluewater to find a super sexy glam pregnancy outfit for the wedding we're going to in a fortnight's time.

hmm. but here i strike a note of caution. all is not entirely well in my world. i'm a self declared slummy mummy - meaning that i love my child and take motherhood seriously but that i'm not going to play holier than thou because (just like with cleaning the house) frankly, i can't be bothered.

in contrast, the self declared yummy mummy loves her child, takes motherhood seriously - often competitively, would never eat 3 pain au chocolat in a row and would have baked cookies, done yoga and cracked some killer business deals long before sunrise each morning. yummy mummy, whatever her motivation, can be bothered.

now, the advantages of slumminess are clear to me. except that over the last 24 hours i have formed a sneaking suspicion that i may have to shape up my act a little.

problem 1 - overeating. yes, i am more than six months pregnant and i do need to eat. but six meringues with strawberries and cream in one day is surely not on.

problem 2 - general slovenliness. in my exhausted, pregnant world putting on the same clothes each day seemed a good way of saving time. that is until i got some sleep last night and saw the front of my t-shirt (above bump and below) covered with meringue stains. there is no way of knowing how long they have been there as meringue habit has been escalating for a week or so. have also been finding lots of food crumbs in my big cleavage maternity bra. was dismissing this as a one off but now know is further indication that i'm on the wrong side of slummy.

problem 3 - bringing up the rear. oh, i had such a shock in one of the changing rooms today. as i stumbled out of my designer pregnancy jeans i decided to check out the size of my ass in the mirror. previously smug in this department ( having been assured a gazillion times over the years that it was 'just right') i wasn't expecting the sorry sight that greeted me. let's just say i could have appeared on a liposuction ad as the 'before'.

oh dear. well the good news is that i found a fabulous dress for the wedding ( ass size will not be an issue). the bad news is that my guilt free snack days are over now that i have discovered the long slippery slope of slumminess.