stag night ? you know where you can stick it

the husband's going to estonia ( where?) on a stag night.

a particularly wayward friend of his is tying the knot and has earmarked estonia for his final fling. i'm certain there will be some kind of lap dancing/ strip club scenario for the stags to enjoy. the hubs agrees that this is a reasonable assumption and assures me that he would of course simply be fulfilling his duty as a stag by going to such a place. he is just a sure that were he not to join in with the jaunt, he would be seen as 'lame' by the rest of the group.

i have several issues with this.

1) first and foremost - it's a sexual experience, a sexual thrill that's being bought at the door of a lap dancing or strip club. the thrill is then delivered by a girl bouncing up and down on your lap and flicking her hair in your face while looking moody and sexy. i've done a lot of research into this,fellow slummies, so trust me.

2) why is it ok for the hubs to purchase and experience a sexual thrill outside of our marriage when the equivalent would be unthinkable for me. and come on, don't tell me a chippendale would be a comparable quest - have you seen those guys ? euch! the equivalent would be wilful dirty dancing with a handsome stranger in a club on a hen night because it would be lame not to.

3) call me naive, call me annoying, call me 6 months pregnant and utterly irrational but why do the feelings of the other stags ( "they'd be let down if i didn't join in") come before the feelings of me, the wife ? it's another brutal horror of marriage, their feelings just do - particularly as the stag night is all in the name of fun.

4) the concept that a stag night is all in the name of fun is a false one. i maintain that it's all in the name of legitimised lechery, sanctioned by wives who are to wary of 'stepping out of line' to object.

5) my final objection is the age old complaint that 'it's not fair!'. i've come to realise that it is the way of the world that men are allowed to engage in this kind of behaviour. and it's a horror of marriage for me, that i have to accept this.

on a lighter note though, the thought of getting down and dirty with a dancefloor stranger (all in the name of fun, on a hen night, because it would be lame not to) does sound rather enticing.

fantasy is just so much more alluring than reality.